Welcome to my home on the internet. I am a middle aged, fluffy, stay at home mother to five kids. Life is not perfect, but it is great! If you want to witness someone struggle with a special needs child, her faith, her marriage, weight loss, and life; you found the right spot. If you were hoping for perfection, keep looking. I have a great sense of humor and I love to uplift and pray for others, so send requests or drop me a line.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

A giveaway and life :)

My next post will be my 100th post :) yay me and blogging...so I really wanted to do a giveaway...but I don't have the moola to give anything away...except a kid, and that is illegal here in the United States of America.  I will dig through my Thirty One stash and see what I can come up with.  Surely something cute has been discontinued and can be mailed to some beautiful reader :D

In other news, Emily is going with her daddy tomorrow to the orthopedic doctor to get a cast on her left arm.  She was playing upstairs on Saturday night when she fell on the catwalk and started complaining about her arm/wrist hurting, she played fine Sunday and Monday, but every now and then she would tell us her arm/wrist hurt.  I finally broke down and took her to urgent care on Monday afternoon and I'll be darned, her left arm has a buckle fracture and she needs an above the elbow cast for several weeks.

Not much else is going on other than I am working with my amazing Web Ninja to get a Needs page.  I have been wrestling for a few months with how to handle some outstanding needs we have in our home.  Some are personal things like kids out growing underwear, some are things professionals have asked us to get like our PT asked if we had a step stool to work with Madison with, some things are just things we need like gas money to get to doctor's offices, work, church.  I know that we are grown adults, and trust me, if we would have known where life was taking us, we would have spent and saved a lot differently 10+ years ago.  I beg God a lot to just bring things we need, to be the kind of Provider that has Underwear arrive in the mail, and step stools to magically appear on our door steps, but their is something called PRIDE that I guess I need to master.  I have also talk to God at length about the difference in self esteem and pride....but, well, yeah...  Long story short, we are not asking for help, we are not expecting anyone to DO anything besides pray.  If you see a need and the Lord moves on you to answer it...thank you for listening...if you think we are expecting anything click the little red X in the corner and thanks for visiting.  I pray daily for direction in our finances.  I pray daily for God to show us what we are missing.  We drive a 1995 GMC, we pay nominal rent compared to our friends and family, we don't eat out unless we get an unexpected blessing that is named for eating out, and finally we try to do all we can to support the family we chose to have.

I personally fight a huge sense of failure feeling when I look at our checkbook.  I try to think of ways to increase our income and decrease our outflow, all to no avail.  I have faith that God is with us, but we have been here so long that I figure at this point we are cursed to poverty and I try to teach my children better than I was taught.  We are right now only existing because our checking account allows us to go about $300 overdrawn, and we are always about that overdrawn.  Embarrassing to type that, horrifying to think of the people I hold precious in my life reading that.  But the sick and secretive things are only used by the enemy...to shine a bright light of Jesus on them helps Jesus overcome the nastiness.  I feel like I have to put disclaimers up to say we know living this way is wrong, we know something needs to change, In our circumstances today we feel bound by life and change is beyond our reach.

I am going to disable comments this post...for several reasons...one I would just die if someone chose to flame me for the honesty here, two I can't stand the comments of encouragement that ring hollow after being here for a LONG time, and three I am the president and world leader here on this blog and I want to :)

If you want to discuss anything posted today...most of you know how to reach me and if you don't, my email address is listed in my profile I believe!

See you for #100 soon :)